I can relate to thousands of kids in foster care, I mean I was a foster child myself and through all the struggles I’ve had to go through, I am definitely a stronger person. There is a typical image for foster kids, you’re bad, you can’t be trusted, and you’re always going be the trouble maker. I’ve had those labels and trust me it gets old after so long. Most children are going try and live up to that stereotype because it’s always preached to them by peers, teachers, siblings and sometimes even foster parents. I had such a hard time trying to change that for myself but eventually I did it!
I came from a big family, the second born of six children and always had the role of being the big sister which usually meant more responsibility. My mom was always in and out of jail and my dad was only there sometimes, they were both drug addicted and alcohol addicted. My mom got pregnant as a teen which is the main reason she never grew up, she’ll never truly understand what it’s like to be a mom and my father was one of the types of guys that never wanted to accept his responsibility. My grandmother was always the one who took care of all six of us, I don’t know how my life would be if I didn’t have that wonderful woman in my life.
I went through a period of time in my life were I was experimenting with drugs, I didn’t listen to anyone, I thought I was grown up, I was miss independent. 11 years old and I was in the streets not doing what most kids my age did, I would sneak out at night to go and smoke. I wasn’t in school anymore, I pretty much dropped out before I even got into Jr. High. It’s insane when I start thinking about it now because I know I’m a much better person then that. I got into so much trouble and never once thought about the consequences of tomorrow. I made a huge mistake but in end it eventually all caught up to me.
I was 12 when I got taken away from my family out of the six of us I was the only one to go, I had to leave behind my whole entire family and move to a town that I was not familiar with at all. It is pretty traumatizing especially when you’re that young. I lived in this shelter for about 3 months until there was a foster home found for me, while this was being done one of my little sisters got herself into some trouble and ended up getting placed in the same home as me. It was a great home, we made lots of new friends and were finally going to school every day. We were there for a year when those foster parents decided to retire from foster care. It was so sudden, we went to visit the new family and the next thing you know, we were packing and heading to the new home.
My little sister got comfortable pretty quick but me on the other hand, I was completely out of my element. To move from a city, to a little town in the middle of nowhere was tough. All the kids who lived at the home didn’t call my foster mom by her name, they called her mom and even with my foster dad, he was known as dad. I wasn’t comfortable with that, I felt like if I called her mom then it wouldn’t be right to my real mom and vice versa with my dad. It took a while before I could get used to that but once I had the feeling of home, I started calling them mom and dad. I got close to all my sisters here and even my parents. I was a total daddy’s girl, I did everything with him. I had never got that close to a person while being in foster care, I always had a wall that I could never break down for fear of being hurt or having to leave. I forced myself to push people away, even the ones I knew would always be there. the day my foster parents told me that this was my last move I wanted to cry, I knew I wasn’t going home so it was pretty comforting to know that I finally had a home again. The question of adoption always came up but I was always torn between wanting to be adopted and not wanting to be.
My foster dad died in a car accident about a year ago and that was the breaking point for me. My mom was asked if she wanted to move me to a different home because of the emotional troubles she was having with the death. I was trying to be the strong one for my family, my mom was crying every night, and I knew this would be the worst possible time ever to be taken away. There wasn’t any thought to that question, she needed me to be there, and I really didn’t want to leave. That would’ve been one of the hardest things to do ever! I never actually cried in front of my mom about my dad’s death till 3 months after, eventually I broke down. When I knew that there still was a possibility of me moving , my mom told me I wasn’t going anywhere, this was my home and she was not the only one who lost. We kids had lost our dad and we were still a family, there was just a huge void in our lives that we all had to learn to adjust too, I knew right then adoption was the right thing to do. This was home. This was my mom and these were my sisters, one of my little sisters was 6 months when I first moved here and now she’s about to be 4. How do you explain to her that her big sister isn’t coming home, that she moved away. I couldn’t do that to her. My dad was the first one to bring up adoption, I wish I would’ve done it while he was still alive. I would give anything in this world to have him there. He may not be there in person but I know he is in spirit, my whole family will be with me.
I’ve come a long way, I’ve got tons of academic achievements, A/B honor roll, student counsel, class officer, Junior chamber of commerce officer, FCCLA, manager of girls athletics, I have been to Washington DC because of my grades and TAKS scores, I am drug free and I am close to graduating high school. I will be one of the first in my family to do so. You don’t hear many success stories when it comes to foster care and adoption but I was one of the few blessed children. Being adopted doesn’t mean you’re losing your old family, it’s nothing like that, if anything you’re gaining the love you deserve, a second chance at life, and another family to call your own.
My name is Hope, I am 16 and this is my story. I was adopted this year, and my life couldn’t be any better.
KTAB News story
KTAB News story
